Empowerment & Freedom Beyond Narcissism: A Kandid Chat on Shadow Work and Healing w/Kim Carpenter

 Kandidly Kristin: Hola, Podcast Nation. It's your girl, Kandidly Kristin, and this is The Kandid Shop. On this kandid chat today, I am sitting down with third generation intuitive and certified mindset coach, Kim Carpenter. Kim has over 15 years of human relations experience and specializes in emotional energy and how it impacts the love you have for yourself and others. Though she is a survivor of many types of abuse, including narcissistic abuse, Kim gently, yet effectively, guides others through their healing journeys to being a thriver. Kim was a guest on our previous episode of The Candid Shop, Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places, and I am thrilled beyond measure to welcome her back to The Candid Shop. So welcome, welcome, welcome back to The Candid Shop, Kim. Yay! Yay! Thank you so much. Awesome, awesome, awesome. So, initially, Kim, this episode, I planned on focusing on narcissistic abuse recovery and thriving exclusively, but your work as an intuitive healer and mindset coach deserves some attention as well. So, listeners, you guys get double for your listening trouble today. So, Kim, how have you been since you were last on my show?

Kim Carpenter: Very well. Thank you. Doing good. How about yourself?

Kandidly Kristin: Not bad, not bad. Busy, busy, but busy is good. So I'm not upset. Can you briefly tell my listeners about your toxic relationship and how you got free to thrive?

Kim Carpenter: Yeah, sure. So it's been several years now since I've been out of the situation, and I was with the narcissist for probably going on eight or nine years. I luckily seem to be forgetting that part of my life a little bit, so. through that healing that takes place. But yeah, yeah, it was, you know, as we learned through abuse, it takes time. It happens slowly over time. It's very methodical on the abuser's part. And that's how kind of healing happens as well. You're very, you're healing very slowly from it. But yeah, throughout that time with him, it was, you know, slow and gradual abuse that he did verbally, nothing physical, but it was just verbal, emotional and sexual.

Kandidly Kristin: Oh, oh, okay. Wow. I don't think I've heard that piece of it before. I've heard emotional and verbal and, you know, those things that don't leave scars, but the sexual part, I think that's the first time anybody's ever shared that. So thank you for that. Sure. What did your journey to freedom look like from that?

Kim Carpenter: I started healing actually when I was still in the relationship with him. I was, you know, from him gaslighting me constantly and telling me I'm the crazy one, I started to believe that. So, I put myself into talking with a therapist and started working with someone. And he was beginning to resent that because it was affecting me in many positive ways. I was starting to step back into my power and realize, you know, the things that he was doing to me were not acceptable, even though I, you know, told him over the years this relationship isn't what relationships should be. And he's part of the, you're crazy, you're in fantasy land. So that healing started taking place for me before I left. And it gave me the power to leave. And one of the last things that he did was he never made any physical threats, but his things were verbal. And he would kind of joke about dying or putting me in positions that would ultimately lead to a passing or demise. And one of the last things was that I was to plan a trip for him and we were going to go out west to the Rocky Mountains. And if I just happened to fall off while we were out hiking and disappeared, that wouldn't be a big deal kind of a thing. That was kind of really when it hit home for me and I was like, okay, I'm done. I'm out. That's it. So I started packing up.

Kandidly Kristin: Good for you. Good for you. I'm so, so happy that you got out and that you're free and that you're thriving and living your best life. Love it. So I was poking around your site, which I love, by the way. Thank you. And I came across your free PDF, Narcissistic Abuse Recovery. Guys, if you get a chance, I'm going to give you her website information. You should get this free download. It's amazing. But it was subtitled Reclaim Yourself. When you wrote it, and named it that. Was that an ode to your personal journey to freedom?

Kim Carpenter: Absolutely, it was. And I think what launched me on that was the quote in the very beginning of that PDF. I don't remember or didn't find who wrote it, but it stated, I am starting to remember who I was before you convinced me I was worthless.

Kandidly Kristin: Yes.

Kim Carpenter: That's it. Because they do convince you all these things and you start believing it. and to get back to yourself and to reclaim your power. There's still steps you have to go through.

Kandidly Kristin: Yeah. I downloaded it, by the way, and I'm working my way through it. But that quote just drew me. I was like, yep, got to get it because it is so many people's story and so many kinds of abuse is that you forget who you really are. So yeah, it was amazing. And the PDF is free, guys, so go get it. That's all I can tell you for that. So before we move on past the narcissistic abuse recovery part of our conversation and into your soul healing and mindset coaching and the intuitive piece, if you could give my listeners just one piece of advice Well, it's going to be two pieces actually. One for people out there that will hear this, that know they're in a toxic partnership and want to take steps to freedom. And then another piece of advice to those who suspect they may be.

Kim Carpenter: Yeah, absolutely. So, you know, a big part of it for me was in Hearing that, you know from the therapy that I was going through that I might be with you know, sociopathic or psychopathic, you know narcissist and I started researching that and what it was and just I became more and you know More involved in reading about it and how I could escape it and what I needed to do Because first and foremost is your safety, you know you you have to have that safety plan in place or be thinking of where places you can go or friends you can stay with or family that can help you get out or whatever you need to do to start taking those steps forward to make the best of it for yourself. So absolutely look out for yourself, number one.

Kandidly Kristin: Okay. Gotcha. All right, guys. So I got to ask. Your site and your business is called Bimberland Soulworks. Where in the world did the name Bimberland come from?

Kim Carpenter: Yeah, sure. And it's a question that I get asked often. So thank you. It, it was a BIM or BIMBER was a childhood nickname from my mom and my stepdad. And it was just always a very loving reference. Um, it's always been used in the kindest of ways. It's, it was only, you know, between me and them, it was kind of our, our thing and their nickname for me. Got it. So I wanted to incorporate that in with my, in with my business and then soul works obviously is the soul work that you're doing. to step back into your authenticity. And so I just kind of merged them together.

Kandidly Kristin: Oh, I love it. I thought the first time I reached out to you and I was searching through my emails, you know, thinking it's going to be something like Kim Dot Carpenter or something. And then it was like, oh, that's right. It's Bemberlin. I was like, I immediately I wrote on a post-it note, ask her where that came from. That's awesome. I love it. So you are a third generation intuitive. Can you please tell me and my listeners what that means and how it aids your work?

Kim Carpenter: Yeah, so absolutely. I've always known that my dad had a very strong intuition, and he used it in his work that he did as a fire investigator or a state fire marshal. He always relied on his instinct, and I always picked up on that throughout my childhood and different times. And I became deeper into my intuition once leaving the narcissist. I stepped back into that because I was getting those red flags. I was being things and I was ignoring them. And then I also knew that my grandmother, my dad's mom, she was always very intuitive. I can remember holidays, she would get presents and she would shake them and she'd tell everybody what it was before she would open it, just as a kind of joke and everything. And then after she passed and my dad had given me her jewelry box, I had found in it, you know, several crystals in there, some amethyst and turquoise and all, just all kinds of, and angel light and all kinds of stones that I never knew, you know, when she was living, I never knew she had these, but I always knew she, she always just had this kind of knowing and we never talked about it. You know, I didn't, I didn't really know about it or come into that spiritual kind of awakening. you know, before she passed. So I know that she is and recently had some family members tell me, you know, that she predicted them getting married and she predicted them, she knew they were pregnant before they, you know, even knew. And so that kind of solidified it that, yeah, I definitely know, you know, that's three generations, if not, you know, more.

Kandidly Kristin: Nice, nice, nice, nice. So how does that, it's gotta be tremendous benefit to you and your clients in your work. Tell me a little bit about how it aids in your soul healing work with your clients.

Kim Carpenter: So the way I work with my intuition is I tap into emotional energy. Okay. And if that involves, you know, that chakra energy or if it just is an emotional energy in general, I can kind of pinpoint what the client is feeling and then also dive a little bit deeper and see where that's connected to their past or past experiences or things that they've experienced in their life, situations and circumstances. And then we go from there. And, you know, most often I touch on something for them that brings up a memory or brings up some healing for them. And we talk about that and talk through ways that they can work through it and get past it and do their soul work.

Kandidly Kristin: Nice. So in terms of soul work, what does that work involve? Like what's in your coach toolbox for a client for soul work?

Kim Carpenter: A lot of it's doing the shadow work. And that's sometimes we only want to look at the light. We only want to focus on the positive. And to get true inner healing, we have to look at some of those things that were our challenges or circumstances that we're maybe trying to forget about or repress. and not want to deal with. But when we don't deal with things, they become patterns in our life. And we see that in relationships, in our careers, our jobs, not advancing financially. And so all those things can be linked back to things in our energy. And we just go about it that way. So I either do some Reiki, or we go through chakras. Or we just talk about very basic and approachable situations to get results that they're looking for.

Kandidly Kristin: Okay, interesting. Now, mindset coach, I see it a lot, I hear it a lot. What exactly does that mean to you in terms of the work you do with your clients?

Kim Carpenter: Well, a lot of times we have to shift our mindset. Sometimes, you know, when we go through traumas or we go through experiences in our life, we may get a fixed mindset thinking that oh gosh, my life is in shambles. Nothing's going to get better. I can't get out of this situation. You start getting in those thoughts and that negative thought patterning, which is okay if you're in that. But to realize and understand that you can make those shifts within you, within your mind, because our minds are a very powerful thing, You can start making those shifts over time and then you'll start to see the transformations that you're making and how it's affecting your life in positive ways, more abundantly, more prosperity, or you know, things are starting to change. You're getting raises, you're getting promotions, you're having successful relationships. You start seeing those changes and you have those aha moments that give you, give you those breakthroughs.

Kandidly Kristin: Nice, nice, nice. Talk to me a little bit about spiritual self-development and what that looks like.

Kim Carpenter: Yeah, it's just doing that deep dive into your soul. A lot of times we hear, you know, the word thrown out there of getting to the root or the root cause. And so you're going in and spiritual can have, you know, different meanings to everybody. I know for me, I kind of took that on. as that spiritual development, I was raised in a very religious household. And I also witnessed a lot of hypocrisy and judgment and all the things that the Bible was telling you not to do were being done. So for many years of my life, I fell away from religion and kind of found my way back to, for me, it's God, but to the divine, to the source, to that creator universe. and came about that spiritual development where you're figuring yourself out, you're figuring out life, you're obtaining that inner wisdom, you're getting that divine wisdom, you're drawing on other sources, and that development looks different for everybody. We all take on different journeys, so it just keeps evolving and keeps transforming your soul at those different levels.

Kandidly Kristin: Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. So who are your clients typically? Like who comes through the door and says, Hey, I need this kind of help and I'd like you to help guide me. Women, men, couples, teens, combination of all.

Kim Carpenter: Mostly women. I deal with mostly women. So my focus is on, on that have had some male clients, but the majority is women. And you know, range in age, I'd say from 20s up to 50s, 60s. So any kind of range in between. And they're mostly looking for, you know, if it's not career or financially related, then it's love life, you know, how can they improve their relationships. But I also have a lot of spiritual clients as well that are in the, you know, either running a business as psychics or mediums or card readers, Oracle card readers, or what have you, healers, energy healers, Reiki practitioners, that kind of a thing where we all, you know, coaches need coaches is what I always like to say. And so you're always just, you know, finding someone to help you get out of a, get out of that kind of stuck energy or, you know, move yourself forward in a way that healers can do.

Kandidly Kristin: Nice, nice, nice, nice. So is your program, your offering, your coaching, is it a la carte? Is there a set length for your program? Can people just do a one and done or is it typically spread out?

Kim Carpenter: It's going to depend on their goal and what they're trying to achieve. Because if it's that deeper level of healing, a one and done is not going to do it. But there are some people that can do the one and done, like a lot of the spiritual clients that I mentioned. Maybe, for example, I had a psychic friend that came to me and they felt like they weren't able to get readings one day. They're like, I can't see anything. I can't hear anything. What's going on? You know, I'm not getting messages. And so we just worked, you know, for about 60 minutes together. And the next day she was okay. She was able to, you know, reach out to clients and keep going in her business. So some people, yes, one and done. Others take longer. The course I offer, um, and I'm actually putting together some new workshops and different things, but right now it's, um, We go for eight months and that's two sessions a month for 90 minutes each. It sometimes takes that long because you might have to revisit. You might start out thinking, okay, I'm healed. I healed this situation. Let's move on to this one. Then towards the end of the six or seven months, it resurfaces or something triggers it or you still have to go back in and do some deeper healing.

Kandidly Kristin: So you mentioned earlier Reiki. I am super, super interested in getting my Reiki level one at least before this year is up. That's my goal. I don't know if I'm going to meet it, but I'm going to do my level best. So do you see clients in person, online, combination of both? And does Reiki work best in person or can it be as effective if you're doing, say, a Zoom call?

Kim Carpenter: I believe it's as effective either way. I've seen it both ways. I started doing it amid the pandemic. So most of my work has been online and I've been told by clients, you know, that they've received results, that they were able to, you know, function again and do different things. And so they noticed changes, but I also have some friends that just do it in person only. And they get great results with their clients as well. So I feel that it works both ways because that energy that you're connecting to in Reiki, you're not actually, you're not physically touching the person. Right. So you can, you know, tap into it or find your way to get into it and figure out where the healing needs to take place for the client. Got it. Or in person, yeah.

Kandidly Kristin: Got it, got it, got it. Awesome. Like I said, I'm super interested in Reiki. It's always been something that I've been interested in. I read myself. I don't read anybody else in terms of Tarot and Oracle. I read myself every morning and do my meditation, but Reiki is something else I'd like to have in my personal toolbox. just because I've always been interested in it. So thank you for that. And I've considered getting Reiki, but I was like, I don't know. Is it going to work if I'm not there? Does it work via Zoom? So I appreciate you clearing that up for me.

Kim Carpenter: Yeah. And it'll work too. I've seen it. A lot of people do the distant healing at a specific time, and then they just ask that you kind of get in a quiet place and you you have to do some things on your part where you know your mind, you're clearing your mind, you're essentially meditating during that time to get in that space. So yeah.

Kandidly Kristin: Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. So tell me what is on the horizon for Kim and Bimberland Soulworks? What's in the pipeline, books, events, what you got going on?

Kim Carpenter: I have going on right now, several workshops that I am putting together and those can run. Right now I'm wondering, you know, put them either through like a membership plan on my website or to do more of an event through Eventbrite or some other, um, platform to offer those. So they will be, you know, groups, group sessions, uh, for women to join in. And one of them is actually a recovery from narcissism, um, to get that going. And then maybe a love collective about, you know, self love that journey of self mastery. Nice. And then also, I also am a certified therapeutic art journaling instructor. And so I was going to do one on chakras, chakras and art journaling. I guess I'm going to focus on the main chakras and stuff. So that's on my focus right now.

Kandidly Kristin: Oh, wow. Well, wait. Talk to me a little bit about therapeutic art journaling.

Kim Carpenter: Yeah. So there's a lot to do with the psychology of colors and also with drawing. And journaling is a very powerful tool for healing, so you can consistently write. And it's always suggested that you write physically, like pen and paper in hand, not computer, because you want to connect with the energy of the words that you're laying down. And so journaling is very powerful. And then when you add in art to your journaling, it just gives it that extra layer of healing, and when I combine that with chakras, we draw mandalas or things that kind of relate to each of those major chakras, and then we color them according to the colors that are associated with the chakras, but we can use other colors as well, so that you have something to take, and you always have that to look at, so if several months down the line you want to go back and revisit your journal, you can see the healing that you went through and refocus on those pictures again, and dive back into something if you wanted to, or take it in another direction. So it's very powerful.

Kandidly Kristin: Nice. I'm glad that you mentioned that. I hadn't even thought to ask you about that, so that's pretty cool. So that is the formal portion of our interview. So now it is time for the fun part. It is time for 10 kandidQuestions. 10 candid questions, 10 totally random questions that I pick off of this crazy list that I found. And the only rule to this is you have to answer them candidly. Some of them are either or, some require a more fleshed out answer, but they all have to be candid. So you ready?

Kim Carpenter: I am ready.

Kandidly Kristin: All right. Coffee or tea? Tea. That was easy. What would be the perfect birthday gift for you?

Kim Carpenter: Crystals.

Kandidly Kristin: That just tickled me so much. Oh gosh. Morning person or night owl?

Kim Carpenter: Morning.

Kandidly Kristin: Okay. What's your biggest pet peeve? Lying. You're the second person to say lying. What is the number one thing that the world is lacking in your opinion? Inner peace. Dogs or cats? Cats. What gives you the motivation to keep going every day?

Kim Carpenter: Knowing that there is so much healing, not only within myself, but within the world that can be done. So much light that needs to be shined.

Kandidly Kristin: Okay. If you were writing your autobiography, what would the title be and why?

Kim Carpenter: Something about deep, maybe deep river. That seems to be coming to me for some reason. Deep thoughts maybe, because I'm My zodiac sign is related to the element of air. So I'm a deep conversationalist. I'm a deep communicator. I'm a deep thinker on everything in life, every subject. Okay.

Kandidly Kristin: What's one thing you want to say to my listeners that you didn't get to say during our conversation?

Kim Carpenter: To believe in yourself, always. To wake up knowing that you can achieve anything you set out to do, that your options are limitless. And there is a world of potential waiting, and just to keep believing and keep trusting in yourself.

Kandidly Kristin: Love it. Thank you for that. And last question, always the same. How can my listeners connect with you, avail themselves of your services, or just connect with you for some soul healing?

Kim Carpenter: Sure, so I do a lot of things on my social media accounts on Facebook or Instagram. And Facebook is Bimberland Soulworks. Instagram is under Bimberland, but I'm also known as I Am Intuitive Kim. And through my website, you can find anything. That's bimberlandsoulworks.com.

Kandidly Kristin: Awesome, awesome, awesome. And guys, as always, Kim's contact information will be in the show notes with clickable links, so you can just go right there and click and pop over. I really, really, really do advise everybody, whether you are in a narcissistic relationship or not, to download that free ebook. It really is powerful. because I got it and I was like, yeah, sometimes you just need to hear certain things to get past certain things, whatever that thing is. So, Miss Kim, I am sorry that we are sadly at the end of our time together, but I appreciate you for taking this time to sit down, to have this conversation with me and to share with my listeners. I appreciate it so, so much.

Kim Carpenter: Thank you. Thank you. I appreciate the opportunity to speak with you again. It's been a joy and I love talking with you.

Kandidly Kristin: Thank you so much. I wish you every bit of happiness and success in whatever you do going forward. I really, really do.

Kim Carpenter: Thank you. Same to you.

Kandidly Kristin: You're welcome and thank you. So guys, that's a wrap for today's kandid Chit Chat. So until we meet again, I want you guys to keep it safe, keep it healthy, and keep it candid. you