Kandid Chat with Carisa Montooth: Connoisseur of Legendary Love!

Carisa Montooth Chit-Chat

Kandidly Kristin: Hola podcast nation. It's your girl, Kandidly, Kristin. And this is the kandid shop today. I have the distinct pleasure of sitting down with Ms. Carisa Montooth Carisa Montooth is a love coach and certified six generation energy healer who shows single women how to attract and date marriage minded men without self-sabotage with a balance of practical tools and powerful, energetic healing techniques.

She helps her clients identify their blind spots in love, heal. their subconscious blocks to love and navigate the dating world with grace and confidence. So welcome. Welcome, welcome. Welcome Ms. Carisa to the Kandid Shop.

Carisa Montooth: Thank you. I'm really excited to be here.

Kandidly Kristin: I'm excited to have you here you know, February is love month and black history month.

So the entire month of February, I'm doing episodes on love with different dating coaches to try to, give people some, hope and some help for finding the kind of love that. in a practical way that works for them, or if they're in a relationship to keep that relationship fire burning. So I guess I need to start with, explain to me in my listeners what it means to number one, being an energy healer and number two, be a sixth generation energy healer.

Carisa Montooth: So a lot of times when, people are working with a love coach, they're working with somebody who is going to help them with the strategy of dating. So that has to do with things like, you know, how do I create an online dating profile that's authentic, but still attractive to other people or, what places do I go, you know, to find, compatible partners or things like that.

It has to do with dating strategy, which are all things to do with mindset. And they're really processes that have a lot to do with our conscious mind.. But energy work and energy healing has to do with the deeper wounds that we have, that we carry forward with us. A lot of times from our childhood, from our first relationships with our parents or through a traumatic breakup and breakups and heartache and those kinds of situations.

And if we haven't healed those things, then the other strategy part doesn't, help us. We'll still keep living the same patterns over and over again in love. And we'll keep trying to resolve them with our conscious mind when the blocks to our happiness are actually in our subconscious mind. So for me what energy work is, it's going deep into those subconscious places to help heal those wounds and replace those limiting beliefs.

that are things like, um, I can't have a relationship and have money at the same time, or I can't have a relationship until I lose weight or everyone who I am with is just going to cheat on me. Like this last person did, or, I'm always going to have to settle in love, whatever those types of beliefs are, you know, they are deeply embedded in our subconscious mind they need to be healed.

They need to be healed and cleared and addressed if, if we want to not only attract love, but also sustain a happy, healthy relationship.

Kandidly Kristin: Got it. Okay. And what does energy work look like? Is, are we talking about hypnosis or Reiki or just, affirmations. Without giving away trade secrets.

Carisa Montooth: Well, sometimes it looks similar to Reiki because it's distance healing for the most part.

So when, for example, when I'm clearing a belief, a particular belief from someone I do connect to them in energy. So that's like an aura to aura connection with their permission and consent. And so that does look a lot like Reiki, and other parts of it, you know, there's always a connection between my aura and theirs, if we're clearing something energetically, affirmations and things like that are all things that have to do with, mindset and changes to our conscious thought processes.

And those things are helpful too, but they take a long time to get into our subconscious and most people give up, for, you know, affirmations actually. Penetrate to that level where they're absorbed by our subconscious mind and then become true for us. And in the meantime, while we're trying to get that affirmation down into our subconscious mind, we're just continuously triggering our resistance to that affirmation.

So if we're saying like, love is easy for me in our conscious mind is saying, yeah, no, it's not. We're just triggering that over and over and over again. And then that makes it especially hard to get into our subconscious. So I do energy work because we're not having to deal with resistance. We're not triggering resistance.

We're going straight to where the subconscious beliefs are, which is in our, you could say, it's our aura. You could say, it's in our soul. You could say, you know, however you want to say it. People describe it in different ways, across different religions, but essentially it's our energy.

Kandidly Kristin: Okay. That's interesting. I've talked to several different, you know, love, intimacy relationship coaches, and with the exception, maybe of one other, they didn't really talk about that part of the coaching process, which I think is awesome because subconscious is where we, where we live and move and why we do the things we do

Carisa Montooth: If we don't address things there, then anything else that we have, it's just going to any other tools that we try to use. It's just going to feel like we're trying to drive with our parking brake on it's just going to feel so, so difficult. And, and we change the nature of what we actually are attracting into our lives when we deal with what's going on at that deeper, energetic level.

So it just makes the whole process feel much. easy because we're restoring our, divine blueprint of what love should be for us in a way that it's like changes the way that it shows up in our lives.

Kandidly Kristin: Okay. Well, talk to me about the why and the how you started love coach and what led you down this path?

Carisa Montooth: So it's kind of funny because, you know, I'm a sixth generation love healer. And so from what that means is like on the sixth in the line. So going back to my great, great, great grandmother, you know, she was a healer and really most of my grandmothers on my maternal side were healers and they were healers in different ways.

You know, some of them were root workers, some of them were, herbalists, some of them were midwives. Some of them were dowsers. So we've always been spiritually awake in my family and aware of that side. But when I was growing up, it just seemed like you know, it felt like we were doing a lot.

Like I was watching people in my family do a lot of superstitious things. It seemed like superstition to me, you always think that, you know, better. Right. You know, you think that age is like a teenager and you're like, I know everything, you know? And so what I thought I would do is I knew that I wanted to help people, but I thought I'm really tired of people, like kind of looking askance at us.

And I'm going to try to do this quote unquote in a legit way. I'm going to help people in that way. So I got my bachelor's degree in psychology and I got my master's degree in counseling and I thought I would help people in that way. And I started out, really focused on personality, personality types.

Cause that was fascinating to me that we could come here with our own individuality. But that there could be ways to understand that. And I wrote a book that had to do with matching up your personality type with your job, with your career choice. And I started to teach classes about that in, community college.

But what I found was women were coming up to me after that class and they would say, I am this personality type. And my boyfriend is that personality type. So how do I talk to him about deepening our relationship or how do I ask him for what I need, you know, in this way, or how do I try to figure out, you know, what he, what he needs?

And so what I was finding was that the women that were connecting to me and reaching out to me, wanted help with love. . And we're like, we can figure out jobs, we can figure it out the flow. I was like, okay, great. And I was like, well, I can't help you the way I want to help you in a community college setting. So I started to have my business on the side and I started to, grow it and develop it and really just also see what I was doing consistently that was working for people because, you know, coming from an academic background and a spiritual background, it was like, I wanted to look at the data kind of.

Is there, are there particular steps in a specific order I'm doing that are getting a good result for people. And that was how I created my formula that I use with my private clients, which is a five-part formula, because I was seeing that when I was using that with my clients, 87% of my clients were in happy, healthy relationships within three to six months of us working together.

Kandidly Kristin: That's a great stat. 87% is amazing.

Carisa Montooth: Yeah. And it was a powerful thing for me because I was like, well, we know for, I know that it's something I can replicate with people, which was really important for me, to really be able to articulate what I was doing, you know, what I could, what I was doing and what their path was gonna look like.

You know, I didn't want it to just be like, oh, just believe me, because I'm telling you because I said, so it's like certain things, you know, of course you'd have to take a leap of faith for certain things, but there are other things that you can prove, and it's nice to be able to do that. So for me, that's how that started. It was the kind of thing where I was sort of running away from my destiny.

I know from kind of my legacy that I was given, which I later was able to see as being something that was a really valuable gift that I could use to help.

Kandidly Kristin: Absolutely. I'm sure it is. I'm sure it is. By the end of this conversation, I'll probably be like, let me call her. So let's talk a little bit about self-sabotage blind spots.

What do you typically see coming through the door in terms of, typical blocks that your clients have?

Carisa Montooth: So there are, about 20 blocks that I see and I'll share a couple of them, but there are 20 blocks that I see that are really, really common. And most of my clients are women. And the blocks that I see with them have to do with believing that they've already had the love that they like, if they've had a relationship that felt like a soulmate relationship and they have a block that says, well, I've already had all the love that I'm allowed to have.

Nobody's lucky enough to have two soulmates in their life. I've already had my share of love. So I don't get to have. sometimes I see a block, especially with women who are entrepreneurs or CEOs, where it's like, I don't get to have love and money. That's a big block that I see another block that I see.

Some of them are things that are like, they seem trivial, but they cause a lot of pain. So it's a block that says something like, , I need to lose weight before I can be worthy of love before I can be attractive. and then other blocks have to do not with the belief about herself, but her belief about what's possible for her.

So it's a belief that says something like, black women aren't as desirable. I see that belief and their beliefs that we absorb, you know, and they're not true, but they feel true to us. So they have to be dealt with. And sometimes I see beliefs that say things like all men cheat, nobody wants a single mother.

Kandidly Kristin: or I'm getting too old,

Carisa Montooth: I'm getting too old. That's a big one that I see really often. And , my clients are from 23 to 60. So, and I always say , life is never, life is never done with you. And love is always there for you.

Kandidly Kristin: Right? Well, that's good to hear.

Carisa Montooth: Yeah, absolutely. And women feel at different stages.

Everybody thinks that they are the toughest case. Anytime anyone comes to talking to me, I was like, I know I saw, you know, the case study of this other person, but I am a tough, let me share with you, what's going on because when you hear what's going on with me and that, and I always understand that because we always feel like, like that, you know?

so those are a lot of the blocks that I see. I'm too old. my time, the time for love is past. Um, they might have a block that's like. If it hasn't happened yet, then it won't ever happen. That's a really common block that I see. or there's a block that says I'll have it as soon as I perfect myself, some version of as soon as I am.

Good enough. Anytime a block has, as soon as, and we place our happiness in the future, it never comes because the future never comes. We're always in right now, you know?

Kandidly Kristin: Yeah.

And that as soon as never really happens, or it's always pushed back, like, okay, I got here, but now as soon as this, or I get to this level of success or whatever it is.

 I wanted to talk a little bit about self-sabotage because I see that in myself. Sometimes in relationships and I don't know what to do with it or how to not do it. So when you have somebody in front of you, that clearly self-sabotage is, or even if I can say that, I know that I do it, but some people don't realize that they do it.

what does that look like in terms of dialing that back? Is that energy, is that more something else in your toolbox?

Carisa Montooth: It's, it's usually always to do with energy and it's usually something someone's not aware that they're doing. And I see it because I go, I look at their intention and their behavior and when those two things don't align, then that's when we look at that and say, okay, so what you said was, I want a happy, healthy relationship.

Um, what you did was you had to have dinner with your ex.

Kandidly Kristin: Got it. Yeah.

Carisa Montooth: So I'm like, so let's look at this. And it's nine times out of 10. It's always an energetic thing because they always know that the dinner with the ex is a bad idea and they have always already agreed to do it before they reach out. ' cause they know that I'm going to bring that up and shine some light on the idea that that might be a self-sabotage thing.

so the, the way that I begin to help them see it so that we can then work on it. They have to be consciously aware of it, and then we can work on it in their subconscious, but first they have to be consciously aware of it. So sometimes I will ask them, what is your perfect end game for this particular thing?

How would the perfect dinner with your ex go and how likely is that to happen? Because what the perfect end game is often, like, I want him to give me some kind of a plausible reason for why he hurt me for so long and it needs to be something that makes sense. And it needs to be a good enough reason that I'm going to forgive him and then he needs to do something that's going to reassure me that it will not happen again.

And that he's changed, which is a really tall order. And it's usually not in alignment with reality. And as soon as they're talking about that, they're like, yeah, I can kind of see that this is not likely to happen. That's not going to happen. Right. And in those types of scenarios, I never dissuade them from having the dinner because sometimes you have to go have dinner with your ex to realize once and for all, he's not going to change.

Right. So I don't try to dissuade them from doing that and having that conversation because when it comes down to it, their soul's wisdom is always sovreign. And there are things that they're going to create for themselves situations. They're going to create for themselves that are going to afford them deeper healing.

Kandidly Kristin: Okay.

Carisa Montooth: So I never try to like bring my agenda to it. But what I do is help them see the discrepancy between this is my intention and this is my behavior and behaviors are not supporting my intention. And then we look at what is it you are really trying to get from this, with your ex. I am trying to heal my feeling of abandonment.

I am trying to prove to myself that not all men are like this and not all men will treat me this way. I'm trying to feel desirable. I'm trying to restore my feeling that I am connected. I am trying to create love, And so when we get to what we're, they're really trying to do, that's when we can go, all right, let's look at what this belief is, where this block is.

and let's clear that, and sometimes it's not a belief or a block. Maybe they have an abandonment wound because of not having a parent in the home, usually a father. And so they attract relationships where the men are always abandoning them. And they're always trying to prove to the men that they are worthy of being loved.

A lot of times what we'll do is there's an actual, and this is going to some of the stuff I'm going to say is going to sound woo anyway, because it's true and that's where we're going to go. So, sometimes what they actually have is an energy cord that attaches them to their father. And that's not a loving bond.

It's just like a sewer line between them and their father in energy. So when we cut that after about two or three days, usually for two or three days, they feel really tired and they might have dreams about their dad. And then after that, they feel like a lightness.. And after maybe a week or so they feel differently about all of the relationships that had the flavor of abandonment Yeah. And sometimes their father will actually contact them. And sometimes their father is maybe still in their life already, but they feel differently toward him like that feeling of like clingingness or compulsion to, have him show me, he loves me that like mellows and, and then they don't feel that push,

Kandidly Kristin: well, let me ask you, this is that energetic cord, is that possible between a woman and say a father who passed away before she got to know him? So it still was an abandonment to her.

Carisa Montooth: Yes, absolutely. And also our family of origin, even we can even have things that impact our relationship that have to do with siblings that we never met, or siblings who like, if our parents, had a miscarriage before we were born, or if we have half siblings that we don't have any connection to.

I had a client who had half siblings that she never met, but she knew that her father abandoned her and her mother and her siblings to go raise other children. And so she actually had this pattern of trying to prove that she was worthy and desirable in relationship. And having people attracting people who were just using her and then abandoning her.

And it wasn't until the chords were cut, not only with her father, but with her half siblings, when she'd never met that she was able to break that pattern in her current love relationships. So it's really interesting because people always think when we start to work together, we're definitely going to do work with exes and your energy around your exes.

Because of course we are, but it's usually deeper than that. And they're always like, I didn't know. We were going to be like this deep about everything

Kandidly Kristin: you want to get married or no!

Carisa Montooth: Like, well, do you want to just date, or do you want to have a relationship? You don't like sustain a relationship, you know? So we always ended up going really deep with those things because. That's important to me, you know, the, the wedding is great, but the marriage is what matters.

Kandidly Kristin: Yes. Now you've worked primarily with women who are looking to date with the purpose of marriage.

Long-term commitment, that sort of thing. Do you work with women who just kind of want to learn how to date for fun?

Carisa Montooth: Yes. Usually it's interesting. If I'm working with someone who is just out of a long-term relationship, um, usually she's not saying what her goals are. Usually I want to heal from the heartbreak and I want to just begin to date again.

I want to begin to relate to men and be in my femininity and I want to have fun and I want to have pleasure and I want to have sex and I want to be courted and those kinds of things. And I'm like, okay, I get that. We don't have to do the soulmate call-in. Um, portion of things that, you know, yet we can focus on the self-love, the healing and the, you know, how do I want to show up now?

What do I want my energy to be like? And what's funny is, I mean, I've had women who have been like, I just want a sex buddy. Can we do that? And I'm like, you can have whatever you want. But what was funny was, especially with the last person, when we did that, of her sex buddy, it was great. She had exactly the relationship or type of connection, rather.

Cause some people think of that as a connection. Some people think of that as a relationship, she had exactly the type of relationship that she wanted with him. she was a widow. Her husband had died six years previous to that. So for her, she wasn't, and she really felt that her husband was her soulmate.

So for her, she was just trying to feel. connected to life again and open to love again. And she just hadn't had sex in a really long time. So I was like, well, let's get you a sex buddy. If that's what you want, that's totally fine. And so we manifested that person in her life, or she say she manifested that person in her life.

We worked on it together. And then, it was great for a few months, but then she went to walk him out to his car once. And because, you know, you may look for different things in our sex buddy relationship than we, um, you know, partner life partner relationship. So she went to walk him out to his car and he had to start his car with like a screwdriver.

And she was like, I think I'm ready for a real partner.

She was like, no, that was cool. That was, that was good. That was good. But you know, like I think I'm ready to kind of go to a new level in terms of life partners. And I was like, that's great. You know, and it, it needed, that was something she needed to have happen right before she could go to that next level because that's what was comfortable for her.

That's what her, you know, we only can manifest. What our subconscious believes is possible for us to manifest. So sometimes we have to do that in chunks, like baby steps, right?

Kandidly Kristin: Yeah. I was going to say, it's okay for your, your want to change. Like I wanted that, but now I want this and that's. Okay. And did you coach her through dating with life partnership in mind?

Carisa Montooth: Yes. Yes, because that was the next step for her, but it's interesting. Like, I, I tried to just listen to what it is that my client feels like they need right then and then. 'cause it's like, they're, like I said, there, your spirit is your soul is sovereign. It's wisdom is sovereign. So once you begin your healing process, it's like your soul, your subconscious is going to go, oh, you want to listen now?

Okay. And then it will start bringing things up. It will manifest these opportunities in your experience, or it will give you, uh, it will give you an insight and you'll say, oh my gosh, I didn't even know. I believed this. Can we clear this? Now when you say, you know, yes, we can do that. So , I have an audio healing program it's called the overnight heartache cure.

And this particular client was listening to it in between her sessions or I gave her, her homework was to listen to it in between her sessions. And she was really trying to recover from. heartbreak. She, she was in her early twenties. She had broken up with someone who she thought was really like her, her person.

And she was having a very difficult time. She went into a deep depression. She was really struggling and she just wasn't even, she was so sad that she didn't feel like herself and she was really struggling. So what she did, she kept coming back in between sessions and saying, well, I feel like it's taking a long time and I'm worried that I'll never get over this and those kinds of things.

And in between each session, I kept asking her, are you listening to your audio? Are you listening to your audios? And she kept thinking, well, I have to wait until the situation is perfect. Like I have to be able to listen to it when I don't have anything else going on that day and I have to do this and that.

And I was like, the thing that though is love. You don't have to do a healing perfectly. You just have to get started. So she started to listen to them and then. one of the things that she had on a vision board was that she wanted to be able to have like some great girls trip, but she didn't really have any close girlfriends because she was holding it everyone at arms length because she was in this pain.

 Well, she met someone at work. She met this, really great woman at work that she had a lot in common with and they decided to take a girls trip and it was this amazing girl's trip. So she, and she had just started listening to the audios for maybe like a week. So she had this, had this girl's trip. She had a great time.

And on the way back, she was like, you know what? I think I might be over him. It was like, I remember feeling like I missed him. But I don't feel like that now, and that's what this was for her. So as soon as she started to clear those things with the audios, then she manifested the healing she needed, which was the girl's trip.

Right. Because during the girl's trip, she looked around and she was like, what a big world there is. And there's so much joy out here and so much connection and so much goodness out here, like, you know, she thought about, she was like, you know, Randy, who like,

she, she was just like, awesome. Yeah, I don't need to like, I'm good. I was like, okay, great.

Kandidly Kristin: I love it. Love it. Love it. So again, without revealing trade secrets or going too much into your actual program, could you share with me and my listeners, some of the tools in your coaching toolbox.

It would make more sense if I share my actual formula, the five parts of my formula that I use with my clients, because each part helps with the next part.

And there are tools that kind of help with each part. Okay. So the first part is the, the healing part, the energetic healing. And one of the tools that I use for that is my overnight heartache cure audio programs, because that helps to clear blocks to love on a deep, subconscious level while they sleep without triggering resistance.

So that's where we're healing, the wounds that have to do with anger, like still carrying anger about an ex that's, where we heal wounds that have to do with shame. especially if someone was in a situationship, they never went where they wanted it to be and they could never. They just never got to experience the, the fullness of that relationship.

They can actually have a lot of shame about that. They were like the side person or, accepted things that they knew were not, good for them. Right. And a lot of times shame can be a difficult thing for us to heal on our own because it thrives in silence and secrecy. And we don't want to tell people about it, but we have to shine light on it to heal it.

So that's where we in that program. they have audios that they listened to with very specific healing statements with binaural beats that help to clear those things out on a deep subconscious level. And so that in conjunction with the energy work that we do in our actual healing sessions together makes up the bulk of that step one, which is the healing.

Okay. My second part of what we do and it has to do with getting clarity about what they want. Because a lot of times when people are thinking about love, they are just thinking about what they don't want, because they're thinking about their ex and they're like, well, I never want to go through that again.

I know somebody who does this. I never want to be. And that's fine if it gives you the clarity about what you do want, right? So it's saying, I want a partner who is committed to their physical, mental, and spiritual health versus I don't want anybody that smokes. Right?

So in that second part, we are creating their order, essentially that they're putting out to the universe. And you want to be very clear about that because the universe is just a system of laws that you use consistently. In a specific way. It does not care what you meant. It cares what you said.

So I help my clients create a love list and we focus on four very important areas because those areas are necessary for longevity in the relationship for compatibility, for a foundation. Got it. So a lot of times people will be like, I want him to be tall and I want him to look like this person. And I'm like, that is fine.

And there's a place for that in your love list. But what about this person's spirituality? What about the way this person thinks of family? What about this person's abundance mentality versus a scarcity mindset. Those kinds of things, because partner choice is one of the most important things that impacts all these other parts of our lives, our mental, financial, spiritual, and emotional health impacted by our choice of partner.

So we do a love list to get crystal clear on what it is that they want, and also, so that when that shows up in their life, they can go back to that and go, oh my gosh, this person is on my list really out there.

Carisa Montooth: So that's the second part is clarity, you know, and there are a couple of other things that we, a couple of other tools that we use in that portion of our work together to really help them, embody that feeling of when this person is going to be here and what that's going to be like for them, so that they can make their order clearly.

Right. And some people get so caught up in the fact that the love list works, that they don't want to do the healing part. So I, you know, there was someone in one of my committees who was like on her 13th partner that she had manifested with the love list. And I was like, but love if you stop and do your healing, then you can place a clear order.

And when this person comes into your life, you won't have to, she kept trying to Up level. It's okay to do that once or twice, you know, like the purpose is to learn how to be a master manifester in the area of love. And you do that with intention, clear intention, clear intention from a healthy foundation.

Yes. Yes. So then the third part of what we do has to do with really deep self-love and a lot of times self-love is just one of those phrases that people use and don't understand. And it's not our fault because it's out there so much. We keep hearing over and over again that you have to love yourself before you can love someone else, but no one actually goes into, well, do I love myself enough?

How do I know if I love myself enough? What do I do about that? What do I do to love myself more? So we create very specific daily, weekly, and monthly self love ritual that they can come into every day and every week and every month. And, building that helps them to manifest things that are much more satisfying for them, not just in terms of love, but in terms of everything.

Because when we deny ourselves our own love and put ourselves at the end of the list, we tell the universe, which is again, the system of laws, right? It's like, we tell the universe don't send me any love because I don't have time for it, patience for it, or I am not worthy of it, And I don't even believe I'm worthy of my own.

So you don't have to send me more.

Kandidly Kristin: Wow. Okay.

Carisa Montooth: So that's why we focus on the self-love because when they do that, it's interesting. Usually what they find is that money and promotions and jobs come more easily for them first and then love on the reason for that I think is because we have these laws, which are just beliefs that we have had for so long that they are functioning all the time, without us even thinking about them.

They're very concrete and solid. And one of our laws usually says, well, I have the right to not, you know, die, starving in the streets. And at least I have a roof over my head. And so if my hustle money can come to me. So it's like once we open, once we supercharge that manifesting ability, it's like, well, we already have laws that say I deserve money.

I deserve a job. I deserve promotions, whatever, but we believe that love is this magical. Like the gods have to smile on us and these people can have it. You know what I mean? The stars must align perfectly, it's like, you just have this beliefs about love being this fairytale situation that certain people get to have.

And you know, so it's a lot harder to change our laws about love. So that's what we do on that deeper level. So that's the third part is the self. And then the fourth part is that I actually do a love manifesting ritual with my client to help call their soulmate into their lives. What does that look like?

Those trade secrets

Kandidly Kristin: to get that part

Carisa Montooth: that's right. And I, I only do that with those private one-on-one clients, because that preparation, those three steps of preparation beforehand are necessary, the healing and the clarity and the self-love are necessary because when you ask for something to come into your life and you're asking someone else to co-sign on that with you energetically, right?

You have to know what you were about before you speak your business. Your feet have to be firmly planted in what

you're doing.

Kandidly Kristin: Yeah.

Carisa Montooth: So that is part of what we do. That's the fourth part of what we do. And then the fifth part of what we do is the part that does not sound like exciting or sexy at all, but it's very important.

It's work. And it's what it is actually is it's you're in this period of time, that's the leap of faith. So you've done all that. You've been doing all these things consistently, and then you've just come off of the high of doing this ritual. And you can feel an energy that this, you can feel how close you are, right.

When we do the soul call, you can feel how close this person is to you and you feel euphoric and it feels good. And for maybe the first time you feel this sense of like that you are more connected to this person than you ever believed was possible. Even though you can't see them, like, you're sure you have a sense of joyful expectancy.

Like, you know, they are. on the way.

Kandidly Kristin: Nice.

Carisa Montooth: And then maybe a week goes by and a friend of yours gets married and you're like, well, my mind's coming. Maybe like another week goes by and you have a birthday and it ends with a zero or a five. I hear like, well, it's still, they're still coming. Your energy is starting to, weaken

and that's when I really stay next to my clients and walk with them and like stand in that gap with them because you can make something take longer to get to you by getting out of that energy of receptivity. You know, it's the idea of like you plant a seed. And then you keep digging it up to see what's going on.

n/a: Right.

Kandidly Kristin: You keep digging it up.

Carisa Montooth: And there are things that happen during that time that let you know you're on the right track, but we often will ignore them or we'll miss them. And that's part of my job is to help my clients see those things. I call them signs of land, which is what, Florence, Scovel Shinn called them.

She was a metaphysical teacher in the late 18 hundreds. And she would talk about how sailors who knew that they were at sea and couldn't see the land anywhere. If they saw seagulls, they knew that they were close to land because those seagulls had to live on land.

So I help my clients see their signs of land. And usually with signs of land, it's something that's giving you the flavor that your manifestation is about to happen. And even if it's not the full manifestation. So a lot of times signs of land are things like, if you've gone from there's this process of.

Either you go from like crickets, I'm not hearing anything. Nobody's looking at me, nobody's talking to me coming home. And that is what I do. The next part of that, where you're starting to see signs of land, like, okay, I'm getting attention from men now, but it's not the kind of attention I would like from maybe the kind of men I would like.

n/a: Yes.

Carisa Montooth: Men who are really interested in sex and those guys, and it's like, that is actually a sign of land. Got it. So you're, you're moving in that direction, but a lot of times we just go, okay, shut it down. We go, this is all I'm going to get. If this is what I'm going to get. Nevermind. Nevermind. But what happens after that is then you get attention from the kinds of men that you would be interested in.

and you get it. It's like you start to get, it goes from like nothing to not great attention from, you know, not really the kind of aligned men you with like, to next. It's like, you're getting attention and it's good attention, but you're not having chemistry from those these look like they're good men, but if there's not a spark, it doesn't feel passionate, but it's like a good guy who is interested in you.

 And then next is good guy interested in me and I'm feeling a passionate spark. That's the goal. There's like, yeah. There's like an order to the way that you manifest the love. And if you reject it at any of those points, then it's like you push away that manifestation, which doesn't mean that you should sleep with everybody who thinks you're interesting.

Kandidly Kristin: Don't stop there.

Carisa Montooth: It just means like, you acknowledge that as a sign of land and you okay, great. Thanks. I'm on the right track and bless that person and you send them on their way.

Kandidly Kristin: So your program, this sounds the five steps roughly. What kind of timeline are we looking at a month, three months, six months.

Carisa Montooth: It's usually about a six month timeline. It's we usually do it in about 20 sessions, but we, uh, you know, because people's schedules are different and sometimes it, goes over a holiday or something like that. It usually ends up being about six months. And what's really important to me to do with my clients is it's important for me obviously, to tailor it to their specific situation, because now everybody brings a different, different experiences to it.

And everyone's personality and energy works in a different way. So that is part of why it works so well. And the other part is that I always have, I usually use WhatsApp, so I have a WhatsApp chat with my clients, my one-on-one clients open. So the, in between sessions, when things are coming up, they can check in, and we can do like kind of spot coaching on different things.

We don't do deep healing work in a WhatsApp chat, but we do, they can tell me like, oh, I have this sign of land show up. Or, they can say like, um, they can tell me about things that happened that they're proud about and I can help encourage them about those things. Or oftentimes they will tell me because when you start doing deep healing work, your subconscious goes, like I said, it's like, Hey, uh, good, great.

I'm glad you're doing it for this. Here are some things for you to look at now, you know, now that you're willing, and then sometimes they'll have dreams that will this and the symbolism and the dream will show us where we need to go next in their healing. And it will show us like this is where they are right now because there's a consciousness, always communicating with them in symbols to say

, this is what you really think about your life right now. This is how you really feel about your life right now. This is what your intuition has been trying to tell you that you have been ignoring, or this is what you really want, that you don't think you should want. So you're pretending you don't want it.

You know, there are all of these things that come up through people's dreams, especially when they start to do the healing work. Right? So it's really important for us to look at that, look at the symbolism of that. And I'll talk with them about that and what some of those symbols could mean. And we see what resonates for them.

And then that might help us, you know, the next step for them in their healing process.

Kandidly Kristin: Cool. so are Your sessions say, on the other side of the world from you, they don't have to be in person. They can be, um, via zoom or some other kind of. Video session.

Carisa Montooth: All my sessions are online sessions. I have clients all over the world, so that's a thing that's interesting, for them.

And when I first got started, because energy is not subject to the same laws of time and space that we think things as, so it's always so interesting for me to just see, for them, you know, if sometimes I can record something for someone and kind of embed a certain energetic intention in that, and then they can come back and receive that when they're ready.

You know? So yeah. Energy is

Kandidly Kristin: energy is everything.

I tell people that all the time energy is everything!

Carisa Montooth: Even a thing of where, like, if you're not used to energetic healing, the first time we're doing things you feel very tired afterwards. It's like we use this next level tool and it takes your body some time to integrate it from always telling my clients to drink a lot of water and to get a lot of extra rest when we've done deep energy work, because your body goes okay.

I know something's very different,

but I'm going to need some help, like making this. Okay. You know, it helps to embody the healing when we do that.

Kandidly Kristin: All right. Wow. Um, I'm, I'm really in awe. I'm like, I'm a fan already. You're welcome. No, seriously. And I was all kind of low key stalking your website. I was like, oh, kinds of juicy stuff here.

Yes. Okay. This is what my listeners need. Again, I'm 54 currently single, very interested in dating with the intention of being in a, long-term rest of my natural life committed relationship. I think if, marriage didn't happen again for me, but I had that long-term and committed, monogamous connection with somebody.

I may be okay with it, but I, kind of still want to get married, but anyway, When you're this old and I'm 54. It's not that old. Let me not say that like it is, but for the better part of my life with the exception of seven years, I was married. It's just been me. So I'm kind of independent, strong personality.

In my job podcasting and my day job, I'm a solitary figure in my office. Don't really have, you know, office full of people or guys coming in and out that I can meet. So, you know, I really don't meet a lot of quality guys that I can connect with on more than just that physical level and who are coming to the table with something other than physical.

Carisa Montooth: Right.

Kandidly Kristin: So, I don't know. I think part of it may be me the self-sabotage piece. It resonated really strongly all up in my Sha-Na-Na. I was like, okay. so like I said, I'm a fan it's, you know, I've talked to a lot of people and, I commend what you do on the energy level and the love coach and, and taking people through steps and not just being like, all right, let me do this manifestation ritual for you and bring in your love and all that right from the rip.

 I like that. So my last formal question is, have you ever met a client you couldn't help? And that doesn't mean you weren't capable, but maybe the client wasn't receptive

Carisa Montooth: Yeah,

I've had, I'm thinking of one client who. You know the thing about self-sabotage and the thing about being alone, even when we don't want to be is that even if we are in, even if our loneliness is, a source of sadness or misery for us, it's a familiar sadness and misery, and there's comfort in that.

So sometimes people freak out when they get close to getting what they've said that they want. Right. Um, and I'm thinking of a client in particular, who she was like, happy, happy, happy with everything and seeing everything. Open up for her. beautiful woman, single divorced mom in her, late fifties.

living in, orange county and

she

left this pattern of just, she was kind of like a party girl sort of like she would. And then she, when she got into her late fifties, like being a party girl, wasn't that fun anymore. And then she, always did the work. She was starting to see changes and she, attracted this person into her life who was very serious about wanting to have a good relationship with her and the normal things that she would do as a party girl.

We're not sort of like, uh, it wasn't that he wanted her to change, but it was that he wanted to be able to know her and she had resistance to being vulnerable and really being known and seen. So her party, girl thing was part of that, of like, I'm just gonna send out the party girl and be able to just have fun.

And I don't have to show everybody how vulnerable I feel or how, and when this person came into her life, who was everything she said she wanted,

n/a: she

Carisa Montooth: kind of freaked out. She stopped coming to her sessions. No, she's she wouldn't, respond and she just like, and I could sort of tell like when somebody is a.

I can tell when someone's about to trigger their self sabotage, because some people are more, they're like, yeah, yeah,

n/a: I'll get back to

Carisa Montooth: you. You know, about, you know, some people are like that and other very rarely someone will just kind of disappear off the face of the earth. And in her case, she just kind of disappeared off the face of the earth and I checked because I, part of me was even like, well, did something happen?

Kandidly Kristin: Right?

Carisa Montooth: No, she's okay. She just kind of like went back to the party girl thing. I saw that that's what she went back to do. And then there are other people who self sabotage and. It might be that they say, like, the thing that I've seen happen most often, where I look at that other 13%, because 87% of my clients are in those happy health relationships, three to six months.

Right. But there's, that means there's 13%, that aren't right. And some of those people, it just took longer for other of those people. They just, I don't know what happened, and it could be that they got close and it was just too, you know, because the new thing. Is good and it feels good, but it doesn't feel familiar yet.

It does. It's very scary. And it sometimes can be a tremendous source of anxiety to feel like you're constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop you're in this new relationship and things seemed good and you keep being like, it seems good.

Kandidly Kristin: Pretty true.

You're

Carisa Montooth: going to figure out that I am broken in this way that I have not shown them and they haven't seen it yet.

They're going to show me some side of them that I haven't seen yet they'd be unhappy. Or even had people think, well, even if it's a good relationship, eventually one of us is going to die. And I'm like, well, that was a very powerful limiting belief.

That is true. But there are other things that are good that are also

Kandidly Kristin: true. That are also true. Ooh, wow. Yeah. So, Ms. Carisa, we are to the end of our time together. So that means that it's time for 10 kandid questions.

Okay, 10 kandid questions. These are going to be 10 questions, random questions. And you have to, there's only one role. You have to give me a kandid answer right off the top of your head. Try not to think too much about it. Is

Carisa Montooth: you ready? All right.

Kandidly Kristin: What is your biggest pet peeve?

Carisa Montooth: What is my biggest pet peeve?

mean people.

Kandidly Kristin: Hmm. That's one of mine too. if you could be remembered for one thing, what would it be

Carisa Montooth: love? women getting married, like sending me their, wedding invitations. Nice.

Kandidly Kristin: Yep. What is your favorite curse word?

Carisa Montooth: My grandma.

Kandidly Kristin: If you could go back and give your 18 year old self, a single piece of advice, what would it be?

Carisa Montooth: love yourself more than you're living everyone else.

Kandidly Kristin: Um, I like that might have to put that in the show. Notes morning person or night owl

Carisa Montooth: morning person. I I'm, I love my bed. I love sleep. I will go to sleep at seven o'clock every night.

You cannot shame me for going to bed early.

Kandidly Kristin: what is the one thing that the world is lacking

Carisa Montooth: Love, people don't love themselves enough, real love, not arrogance or conceit like actual.

Kandidly Kristin: Yeah, I agree. Dogs or cats,

Carisa Montooth: cats.

Kandidly Kristin: what's one question that you wish that I had asked you and what would your answer have been?

Carisa Montooth: That's a hard thing for an introvert to respond, to get more questions, maybe it was, are you an introvert or an extrovert?

Kandidly Kristin: You know, what's funny is I have this huge list of questions and I kind of randomly picked nine because the 10th one is always the same and that was one of them. But I was like, So now.

Okay. So that was the one question and your answer would have been introvert really now. That's interesting. Cause you're a love coach that you're an introvert.

Carisa Montooth: Yeah. I'm an introvert. So I'm like, like I can talk to you because it feels like I'm just talking to you. Right.

Kandidly Kristin: Got it.

All right. Is there anything else you want to tell my listeners, but didn't get the chance to during our conversation,

Carisa Montooth: I would want to tell your listeners that self-love is the best love, and they have to love themselves first and love themselves best. And then the other kinds of love will come to them.

Kandidly Kristin: Awesome. Again, that's going to be in the show notes people.

Carisa Montooth: Oh, and I would also tell your listeners.

Kandidly Kristin: You make love. Welcome. And the last question, how can my single lady listeners connect with you?

Carisa Montooth: They can connect with me online website, which is, um, Carisa Montooth,  C a R I S a M O N T O O T h.com. Or they can connect to me on Instagram. And my handle on Instagram is Carisa love healer. So C a R I S a love healer.

Kandidly Kristin: Okay, awesome.

Carisa Montooth: They can slide into my DMS.

Kandidly Kristin: I love it. I love it. And guys, as always, all of her contact information, will be in the show notes. And there'll be clickable link. So you don't even have to copy and paste. You can just click on it and go to her website, which is pretty awesome because I was all over it and avail yourself of her services.

If you're so inclined, like your girl might just have to, because it's getting bad out here for me in this dating scene, so, Ms. Carisa Montooth. Thank you. So, so very much for joining me. This hour, these chit-chats, they go by so fast. And I always wish I had more time, but I am glad that you gave me this time to sit down and talk to me and my listeners.

And you gave us some really good gems to hold on to. And I appreciate you so much for sitting down with me today.

Carisa Montooth: Thank you so much. You're so welcome.

Kandidly Kristin: Likewise. Likewise. All right, guys, that's a wrap on this kandid. Chit-chat with Ms. Carisa Montooth. And like I say, at the end of every episode, I want you guys to keep it safe, keep it healthy and keep it kandid!