Speaking with the Heart: Mastering Compassionate Communication with Dr. Heather Browne

KANDIDLY  KRISTIN: Hey, hey, hey, podcast family. It is your girl, Kandidly  Kristin, and this is The Kandid Shop. Your number one destination for kandid conversations. If you're new to my show, welcome. Thanks for joining. And if you're a returning listener, welcome back and thanks for your support. I am super-duper excited to have back on the show one of my very favorite guests. She is a psychotherapist, coach, and now author of a brand new book called Speaking with the Heart, Transforming Your Relationship, Conscious Compassionate Couples Communication. Say that four times fast. It is with absolute pleasure that I welcome back Dr. Heather Browne to The Kandid Shop. Welcome back, Dr. Heather.

DR. HEATHER BROWNE: I am so honored to be here. Thank you so much, beautiful.

KANDIDLY  KRISTIN: Oh, thank you for coming back and blessing us again with some wisdom. And now we're going to talk about this new book. So when you were here the first time on the show, I believe I asked you, was communication the most important thing? And you said,

DR. HEATHER BROWNE: I said that actually compassion and connection are the most important.

KANDIDLY  KRISTIN: Yes, yes. Yep, yep, yep, yep. And now, look, you've gone and written a book about it. So let me ask you this. What gap did you see, feel, get a sense of in your therapy practice was there that this book is going to fill?

DR. HEATHER BROWNE: Well, just that question that you ask, because pretty much every couple that comes to me say that they struggle with communication. Okay. And as I heard that session after session, client after client, year after year, I thought, There's something here. There's some reason why we all say that we struggle with communication. And then my place was realizing, well, it's because you're not connected. If you're connected, if you're connected in compassion, you can have any conversation you need to have. And you'll be able to communicate that from a place of respect and dignity and reciprocity. But when my focus is, you got to hear the words I'm saying. Completely different conversation. So what I say to all my couples is, come with compassion, move into connection, and then have the conversation. And that changes everything.

KANDIDLY  KRISTIN: I remember that. I remember that. And that episode was actually one of my most highly downloaded. So it clearly was speaking to people. It was all.

DR. HEATHER BROWNE: It was completely on that aspect. Because it's so important. It's so needed. And in this day and age, we feel lonely. We feel disconnected. We're super busy. Got lots of weight. You know, connect with people, but not in a way that really feels of substance.

KANDIDLY  KRISTIN: I read that in your book, you have that in there. We've got like a trillion ways to reach out and touch, but it's just not… really connected communication. So I want to read you something from your book, and I hope I'm saying this man's name right. Albert Mehrabian is a researcher of body language, and he was the first to break down the components of face-to-face communication. And he found that 55% of communication is nonverbal. That was interesting to me. 38% vocal and only 7% is in the words alone. He called it the 55-38-7 formula. So can you kind of expand on what those numbers mean in terms of how we communicate

DR. HEATHER BROWNE: Sure. We focus so much on word, and that's why texting, that's why email is the vehicle that we use so often. But as he has found out, 7% of the information that's passed is in the words. And beyond that, it's the body language, it's the intent, which you can't get in an email or in a text. It's the eye gaze, Think how differently you feel when you're speaking with somebody and they're looking at you, depending upon how their eyes are focused on you. If they're warm, if they're soft, if they're direct, if they're staring, if they're glaring, if it's darting, there's so much in the energy of the person. There's so much in the stance of the person. And then the whole other place is, well, how do you receive it? And how deeply do you receive it? And then you eventually get to the words that you use. There's so much beyond that. One of those times you've had a text string with somebody and you're like, no, I didn't mean that.

KANDIDLY  KRISTIN: No, that's not what I meant.

DR. HEATHER BROWNE: Because if you were on the phone or if you were FaceTime, you'd be able to say, sweetheart, sweetheart, I love you. I love you too. We just need to figure out if we need more pickles or not. And that changes it completely.

KANDIDLY  KRISTIN: It really does, because the misunderstandings that go on in text and email is just ridiculous. And I'm like, you know what, let me call, because you're really, that is not what I'm saying. Because you're mixing.

DR. HEATHER BROWNE: And there's another book that you probably read where about 40% of the messages that we get are better actually positive messages. Yes. Are you sarcastic? Are you teasing with me? Like, you know, I think that was a great answer. Why would you say that? Because I thought it was a great answer. You don't have to put me down. It's like, wait, what? So we're no longer even believing what people are saying because we don't have the connection with the emotions or the feelings behind it. And so we don't know to intent and email and text. You don't know intent.

KANDIDLY  KRISTIN: You don't know. You just have words.

DR. HEATHER BROWNE: You just have words.

KANDIDLY  KRISTIN: So how do we get past that in our communications, in all our communications professional, but more specifically in our personal interactions, our relationships? How can we move past that into

DR. HEATHER BROWNE: Perfect question, because in the fact that you're even asking it comes the answer. Knowing the fact that words are just trying to explain what you're thinking and you're feeling. They're just a tool. They're a tool. They're not the emotions. They're not your true feelings. And so when you realize that I'm just using this, like my car takes me to the store, but my car isn't the store. My car is the store, it just gets me there. The words get you there if they're offered. So if you have the viewpoint, not so much, you need to hear what I say, And I want you to really understand where I'm coming from and why this is important to me. And I wanna understand how that impacts you. If you keep feeling behind the words, perfect example is if I say hot dog, most people will say baseball, barbecue. And I think dad's out of a job. was we ate hot dogs and my dad didn't have a job. So I don't have lovely memories from hot dog. And so we're using these words that tell us something, but we don't know all the depth of the messages behind it. knowing that and just saying, I really do want, as much as I can, try to come alongside you. Could you share with me what this means to you? Why you're sharing this? How is this important to you? How are you hoping I respond? And if I don't, what do we do with that? Do you want me to respond just the way you want or do you really want to know my heart?

KANDIDLY  KRISTIN: Right. Yeah, that's important. So the other thing I saw that really jumped at me was the five important components of healthy communication from your book. You say honesty, authenticity, integrity, curiosity, and love. So break that down for me.

DR. HEATHER BROWNE: Well, so you're going to have to do them in order for me because I'm going to have them written down. So honesty, no conversation is really going to be a great conversation without that. And I think we have such a hard time as humans really owning what we think and what we feel, and it's very static. Since this is what I think and I feel, it's what I'm going to be acting out of. And whether I tell you that or not, it is what I'm acting out of. And then that ties very much into authenticity, which is, do I truly feel that I can be myself in front of you? Like, can we work through this where you're gonna actually support me and I'm gonna support you in trying to help each other in this place that's so very important. So both of those, of course, are critical. Curiosity, because curiosity keeps you open. What does this mean to you? How has that impacted you? So very, very, very important. My viewpoint, if you approach anything with love, it's going to be better for yourself, for the other person, for the situation. So if I'm honoring myself and then I come to you and really try to honor you in where you are, even if we're in a place of discord, I won't get through this. I do want to, and I believe we can, but I also know we probably need to be very careful here, because I don't want to be stepping on your toes, and I definitely don't want you stepping on mine. How can we both be in this, though we're not in this in the same way?

KANDIDLY  KRISTIN: And integrity. That was an interesting one. The other ones I was like, yep, yep, integrity. I said, hmm,

DR. HEATHER BROWNE: Well, to me, integrity is who are you really? And do you stay with yourself? Or do I veer because I think this is what you want to hear? Or I don't want to get you angry, so I kind of shy on myself. If I hold on to myself with integrity and if I am willing to let you hold on to your own. I'm not going to blame you. I'm not going to punish you. I'm going to be respectful in the place of recognizing that you are someone to hold on to your integrity, whether I align with it or not, and that it is best for me to hold on to mine so that you can say, well, no, that doesn't sound like Dr. Heather. That's not my experience of her. I want people who work with me or her in my life to know the truth of my heart. And when they hear something, if it feels off to say, no, no, no, no, no, no. And to hear when they say, oh, and say, oh, yes, yes, yes, yes. I'm ready. Are you giving the world that which you really are? And in this day and age right now, dear Lord.

KANDIDLY  KRISTIN: Who the hell knows? Okay. Oh my goodness. So Dr. Heather, Because five of those components have a lot to do with self, what role do you think that self-awareness and individual personal growth play in strengthening relationships and compassionate communication?

DR. HEATHER BROWNE: Well, since everything comes from self, 100%, all I can bring to any conversation, to any relationship, is me. And so I'm vastly important to every single situation, every communication. There's no way for me to have a conversation or a relationship without me being present. And so all of that is important. And also the beauty of it is the more time you spend, I spend on really knowing ourself, it's so much easier to interact with others because you're good within yourself. and that I don't necessarily need you to be good with me. I don't necessarily need to be good with you. I can say, okay, okay. I would never do it that way. I hope that works for you. If you don't take anything away from us, unless we decide that the other person in some way is supposed to explain who we are, if I don't need you to define me, then I'm all good. If I need you to define me, I'm in so much trouble because we could in any possible way. People-pleasing, narcissism, it's needing the other person to recognize you and see you in some way. And if they don't, then your validity or their validity is thrown to the side. And it's why those two attract each other.

KANDIDLY  KRISTIN: Yeah, yeah, yeah. So in your book I saw, and I love books that are interactive, there were some exercises. So do you have one or two tips or exercises that couples can implement into their everyday interactions to help build this foundation of conscious and compassionate communication? Oh, absolutely. Without giving the book away, because you got to get the book to get all the juice.

DR. HEATHER BROWNE: There's so much in it.

KANDIDLY  KRISTIN: So much.

DR. HEATHER BROWNE: I am so mindful of that. That's the reason Till Press picked my book up. They said, we've never seen a book like this before. You just don't talk about it. You actually walk people through it. And so I'll have an exercise, and then I'll say, OK, so now that you did the job, now I want you to do this. So I wanted it to be kind of like being in a seminar. That was the reason I created it that way. But yeah, two for every single day. Yeah, and this is a really important one. Not right before bed, but a little bit before bed if you can, if you're working like a day job. I would say to your partner, where is it that I have loved you best? Or where have you felt the closest to me? And then listen, it might not be where you think. important to the other and it gives you so much information of where they're wanting connection and where they're wanting love and where they're able to receive. And just take it in, whatever. If they say, when you pass me the ketchup. Okay, so what about that? Like, there's a reason why it was. And then also, but you have to really be open to this.

KANDIDLY  KRISTIN: Yeah.

DR. HEATHER BROWNE: Have I missed you in any place? Or did you feel like I didn't pick up an opportunity that I could have? People don't ask that. And it's so foolish, because that's the wealth of where I can come to right now.

KANDIDLY  KRISTIN: Right, versus where I can do what I think is what you need.

DR. HEATHER BROWNE: Yeah, and maybe what you're just wanting is a hug. So I ask people in my life, how can I love on you right now? Is there anything, but before any session ends, I say, is there anything else that we haven't touched upon that you really need us to touch upon? And the reason for that is when they leave, I want them to feel like they've really gotten what they've wanted. That's so important. Yes. And so there's that place of cultivating that energy to let that happen. That is vital. So every single day. And then the other one, and this is such an important one, every single day, if you're willing, it's hard for a lot of couples, I call up the position. Lay down together, hold each other and look into each other's eyes and just say all things like, it's so good to be with you. Or I'm so glad you've chosen me. Know what happened at the VAT. None of that, none of the chitchat. Really just so happy to be here with you. And just three, five minutes, no TV, no radio, no cell phones, no computer. It's not a pre-sex makeout, though if that's the place you want to go, go for it. But it's that place of holding each other and just being partner and partner together, which sadly, we stopped doing after six, nine months. We just moved. Now we're going to do life. Right, right. Lose those moments where you would just gaze into each other's eyes and think, like, are you really mine?

KANDIDLY  KRISTIN: Right. Like, you're so freaking awesome.

DR. HEATHER BROWNE: We want that every day.

KANDIDLY  KRISTIN: Now, let me ask you this. Now, these are couples, like you said, we lose it after so many years of being together. How does a new couple start off integrating this, like before you get to the, we do in life, like you're new. And that to me, that that would be the best place to start this kind of communication. So it lasts.

DR. HEATHER BROWNE: If you do those two exercises, journey beyond the way, that means every single day, I'm gonna make certain I have loved you. Every single day, I'm gonna find out if I have missed something that was important or didn't come through for you in a way that is important, and then I'm gonna rectify that. Then I'm gonna speak into how amazing you are and how grateful I am that you've chosen me. If you do just those things, And if you're if you really are honest in it, like, yeah, you forgot that I had the important meeting. And I know you're busy. But like, I, I need you to remember what happens is, you know, we're busy in our own thoughts and our own processes. And we forget. what's going on for our partner, or we just don't know. And then when we don't attend to it, or we don't know to attend to it, what happens? The partner feels like they're not important. The partner feels like they don't care. But sometimes we just don't get the magnitude of it. If I had an audition, let's say for a talk, that was really important to me. Let's say it was on like suicide, which is dear to my heart because my mom killing herself. And if I said to a friend of mine, like, this is an important talk. And she didn't say something inside of me, unless I talked to her about it. There's that little part, she doesn't really care. She doesn't really know about this. Where she might simply have just forgotten. Can't tell you how many times my kids have said, mom, Mom, today I spoke with Emily. I'm like, oh my gosh, how did it go? And I'm madly engaged, but I kind of need that little wake up call, Heather. Remember. So in offering that, you give your partner the opportunity to remember what's important to your heart. That's partnership. That's partnership at the most beautiful place. This is important to me. You're important to me. I need you to care about this right now. Right. Yeah. I'm of the belief that it's up to us to help our partner be rock star for us.

KANDIDLY  KRISTIN: Yeah, absolutely. Because listen, nobody can read your mind.

DR. HEATHER BROWNE: Right.

KANDIDLY  KRISTIN: You know what I mean? We all want, you know, I don't know if social media or media has made it seem like in relationships, people, if they're a person for you, they're just going to know every single thing you need. And that's just not so.

DR. HEATHER BROWNE: Well, and even they do. Let's say even they do. Let's say I told you that I love it when you say I love you. like, I'm still going to want to hear it. I had a couple come to me. And the gentleman said, my heart broke for the woman. But that also shows you who I am, because for him, it's just fine. But she wasn't certain she was loved. And she said to him, you know, I just don't know that you love me. And he said, I don't know how you could say that. I told you on our wedding day that I did. at right, he said, so I've told you, so I love you, do I need to say it again? And I'm thinking, oh my gosh, why?

KANDIDLY  KRISTIN: Clearly they need to know each other's love language, which that was a great segue. When I read that book and realized what my love language, I had something to call it because I kind of knew I'm an acts of service girl. Like when somebody does something for me, take something off of my overflowingly full plate, that's rockstar to me, but not for everybody. And understanding that I also need to, my love language may not be my partner's. I might be doing acts of service because that's my language, but they're a physical touch person. And it's like, well, I did this for you. Why are you not, oh, not your love language?

DR. HEATHER BROWNE: Let's go a little bit further. Let's say you guys have similar love languages. Let's say you're both acts of service, and you shower your partner with acts of service. That is still your partner's love language, but because that one is being fulfilled so beautifully by you, now they kind of want gifts. Because they're already got this one, so what else could you do for me? So funny as humans, because we continually want more. God made us with a hunger that many times a day needs to be satiated. A thirst, a heart, ears, eyes. And so we're kind of like emotion and experience junkies. And so we want more. That's also part of the place of asking, where did I touch you the most deeply? Because that will tell you when you got me that coffee when I was so tired. Oh, acts of service. When you told me that all you wanted to do was cuddle with me under the stars and you put out the blanket, special moments. When you came home with that chocolate for me that you picked up at the store, gifts. When you find out where's your partner been touched most deeply by you, you're going to start to see where their love language is. And then one thing that's so important, I tell clients, as much as possible, try to not negate any love that comes your way. Get, it might not be in your love language. Still love coming your way, so say thank you. Oh my gosh, I so appreciate that you brought me eight waters. Could I have a tea bag for one of them all? Still a graciousness. Still ask for what it is that would really bless your heart. But what most of us do is say like, why are you bringing me eight waters? Don't you see I already have seven? Like what the hell's wrong? Oh my God, yes. And to ourselves too. You do a really good job and then you rip it apart. Instead of saying, you're proud of me.

KANDIDLY  KRISTIN: Yeah. That is so impactful, seriously. So looking ahead, what What are your hopes, your dreams, your vision for the future of this kind of conscious, compassionate communication and relationships in general? Because that's what you do.

DR. HEATHER BROWNE: I'm hoping that the way I look at connection, the way I look at compassion, the way I look at the opportunity and the beautiful like love language that there is in communication. I like to say that communication is a love letter. I'm hoping to touch people and bless people so that they will just love on the people in their lives and also love on themselves. I'm hoping to make this world a more warm, loving, kind, gracious, hopeful, helpful, supportive place. And in doing so, I'm hoping I get to love on a ton of people, and I'm hoping a ton of people will love on me, because we all want to be loved, and we all want to be loved, and we want to know that we make an impact, and that we've done something to help. That's so important to human.

KANDIDLY  KRISTIN: That's a good dream. That's a good dream.

DR. HEATHER BROWNE: Yeah, I just want to bless a bunch of people. There's so many things you can do that are so important, but they're not that hard once you look at how and why to do them. And I've seen from the 27 years of working with clients, how much it changes people. And I just want to do that beyond the one-on-one that I'm so blessed to do already.

KANDIDLY  KRISTIN: Right, right, I gotcha. So what is your personal message to the individuals, the couples who may be listening or are gonna hear this, who are, they love each other, they know that they're in it to win it for the long haul, but they're striving to feel more connected, to be more connected and to have a richer, more fulfilling relationship? What's your personal message?

DR. HEATHER BROWNE: Beyond that, take the message of speaking with the heart. So I would say to my partner, show me how to reach you in a way that I haven't yet. Like, I want to, but I don't know how to get into your heart and that place where you want me to. So will you trust me and guide me there? How do I care for you more gently, more safely, so that you feel more willing and open to sharing yourself more so with me? We don't wanna miss our partner, but we don't know where it lands. And so there's a beautiful opportunity in a relationship to guide your partner on like with a massage. Oh, right there, right there, right there. Same thing. Could you say it again? I'll say to my kids, you know, could you tell me that again? And they're like, oh my God, I want more. second hug. I'm like, can I have another? I don't get hugged very often, because I'm a widow, and as an ecotherapist, you know, you don't really get hugged by your clients. And I have a relationship, so when I get hugged, I'm like, can I have another hug?

KANDIDLY  KRISTIN: Right, right. Hugs are the best.

DR. HEATHER BROWNE: Oh my gosh. They're so grateful that I do that. And I look at them and I say, do you know how long it's been since I've been hugged? Thank you. Thank you. Being grateful, being appreciative. They're so important.

KANDIDLY  KRISTIN: They really are. I live in gratitude for the smallest stuff.

DR. HEATHER BROWNE: We are so blessed. No matter what's going on in our life, just the fact that we are given this life. And some of your listeners are probably going through horrific things right now. And I'm so sorry for that. And keep on going and get the support and love that you need to get you through. Because at some point, we're all in some very, very hard place.

KANDIDLY  KRISTIN: Absolutely.

DR. HEATHER BROWNE: The blessing for you right now can be that someone else can love on you and care for you.

KANDIDLY  KRISTIN: Yes, and let them. Let them.

DR. HEATHER BROWNE: You forget that being human, it's so important to let ourselves be loved. And that it's important to know that you are important. I heard a podcast yesterday and it was on Estelle Perel. And she was talking with an actor and she was telling him, he was having a 50th birthday party. And he was having a hard time receiving it. And he was going up to everyone and trying to talk to them and making them all feel wonderful. And she said, they just came to celebrate you. You need to remember that for the other, they're stepping up because we're important to them. And when you let yourself take that in, ooh, and when you share it with the other, thank you for caring about me. I think that I am important to you. It's a beautiful thing. It becomes the dance of why we're here.

KANDIDLY  KRISTIN: Yeah, yeah. I agree.

DR. HEATHER BROWNE: Let me show you why you're so amazing and so incredible in my eyes.

KANDIDLY  KRISTIN: Yes, yes. Let me give you your flowers.

DR. HEATHER BROWNE: Oh, isn't that lovely? Oh, I love that. Let me give you your flowers. Yeah. That's why we're here.

KANDIDLY  KRISTIN: That's why we're here. So Dr. Heather, beside the book coming out, and when is it going to hit the stands, the airways? Is it going to be audio? Because if you don't, if you need a narrator, I'm open and available.

DR. HEATHER BROWNE: Oh, you're so sweet. So it's going to be paperback to start. And that will be, it's coming, it comes out, it comes out on January 23rd. And then probably two months, three months afterwards, there'll probably be an e-book. And as long as all your listeners buy my book, then Simon Schuster opens up the pathways for it to be an audible book, which for me, that would be amazing. You have to be a certain level because it's expensive for them to do. Yeah, yeah, it is. It is. That's my hope. I'm told so often that my voice is soothing and calming. And so I thought, well, gosh, wouldn't it be lovely to be able to speak the words to my people?

KANDIDLY  KRISTIN: You would do well narrating your own book.

DR. HEATHER BROWNE: Well, and if they tell me, they don't want me. Now I know who to reach out to. That's right. That's what I do. So I sent the paper book, and then it will be an e-book a couple of months after print, and then hopefully an audible book.

KANDIDLY  KRISTIN: We're going to claim that for you and it's going to happen. So do you have any webinars, workshops where somebody that's listening would be like, oh, I'm really vibing with her. Maybe I can reach out. maybe have a session. Do you do those?

DR. HEATHER BROWNE: Absolutely. Yeah. So if you want to go to my website, it's kind of like the hub of Heather, like it is for all of us. So www.drhatherbrowne.com. Everything's on there. I'm on TikTok. I'm on YouTube. I'm on Instagram. So all of that. I've got workshops. I've got freebies, sessions. I have a six-week deep dive into couples' communication that I do privately, which is just a glorious session. So there's lots of things on my website. Or if you have questions from today, please reach out. I love hearing from listeners.

KANDIDLY  KRISTIN: Nice, nice. Well, I'm going to add, you're going to get to say all that again at the end of 10 Candid Questions, because it's always my 10th question. Oh, OK. Dr. Harrod, thank you. I'm so glad you wrote the book. that you were talking about it. I don't know if you were in the process of writing it when you were first on the show or if it came about after that. But I am so glad. I'm getting through it. I had to print it. I'm probably going to just buy the book so I can have it in a book format instead of all these blue pages. They're all over the place. But again, thank you, thank you for coming to the show. But we're not done yet. because we still have to play 10 Candid Questions. And I got new questions, so I'm so excited. So you ready?

DR. HEATHER BROWNE: I'm ready.

KANDIDLY  KRISTIN: All right. First question, handshakes or hugs?

DR. HEATHER BROWNE: Oh, hugs. COVID or not COVID, I don't care. Hugs.

KANDIDLY  KRISTIN: Okay. Question two, what's the most adventurous or spontaneous thing you've ever done?

DR. HEATHER BROWNE: I rappelled off of a 40-foot rock dive in Australia into a pond. That was beautiful. I just jumped off and went down.

KANDIDLY  KRISTIN: That was awesome. With a rope or without a rope?

DR. HEATHER BROWNE: We did both. We were like, I guess, strong or solid enough. And then three of us, only three of us did it, but three of us jumped from 40 feet, jumped out of the airplane many, many times. That's on my bucket list. Oh, it sounds so bizarre. And the listeners who love skydiving will get this. It feels natural to be falling through the sky. It literally, you feel like you're a bird. It's amazing. After your life comes back from being like, you're in the canopy, you're just sailing. It's like, glorious.

KANDIDLY  KRISTIN: I gotta do it. It's on my bucket list for sure. Question number three, beaches or mountains?

DR. HEATHER BROWNE: Oh, I love both. But if I am to choose one, it's beaches. That was my favorite place to go with my mom. And both me and my father's ashes are there. So it's a very spiritual connection for me at the beach.

KANDIDLY  KRISTIN: Nice. I'm just a water baby. Anywhere there's water is where I want to be.

DR. HEATHER BROWNE: Yeah, you and I girl.

KANDIDLY  KRISTIN: Oh my gosh.

DR. HEATHER BROWNE: An airplane and land in water.

KANDIDLY  KRISTIN: And land in water. There you go. Now that wraps it all up for me. Question number four. What do people misunderstand about you the most?

DR. HEATHER BROWNE: Gosh, that's a great question. I'm not really sure, so I need to start asking people. I can say on TikTok, what's interesting is when you watch a TikTok, you just see that little blurby thing that the person does. You don't know the history behind. And I will talk about something that's become apparent to me in a session, by the person's request. And I've had several people think I'm, and literally said it, that I'm narcissistic and a horrible therapist because telling the person something and I should just like let them be them. And I'm like, if you go back to the questions before they said, would you please do something on this? Because, oh, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. So on TikTok, I'm misconstrued as not being compassionate sometimes, being egotistical, which is funny because I don't see myself that way. But in looking at it, I'm like, okay, I could see that if I make up a video and I say, okay, so this is what you need to do. That could seem that way, but it's in response to a question. Yeah.

KANDIDLY  KRISTIN: I definitely don't think you're either of those things. I don't get that. And I think I'm a pretty good judge of energy and vibe from people. Question number five, phone call or text message?

DR. HEATHER BROWNE: Do I need to answer that? I love the voice messaging that you have on text.

KANDIDLY  KRISTIN: Yes. Yes.

DR. HEATHER BROWNE: I do that a lot because sometimes I don't really have the time to get on the phone call because it's in between clients and I don't want to pop on the call and have the person say, oh my gosh, I'm so glad you called and then say, oh, I got to get off. So I use that a lot, but I'm definitely, I'm definitely a voice person.

KANDIDLY  KRISTIN: Yeah. Yeah. Question six. What one word would sum up who you are? Joy. Yeah, I would. I agree. Because your smile is contagious.

DR. HEATHER BROWNE: Very, but that can be misconstrued.

KANDIDLY  KRISTIN: Let's stick with joy. Yeah. Question number seven, sunrise or sunset?

DR. HEATHER BROWNE: Oh, Lord, that's so hard. They're so beautiful, but I'm going to say sunset because I miss so many sunrises. We almost sleep a lot of time during sunrises. And I love sunsets. I was at the beach last night at sunset. It was just spectacular. But, okay, so you've nudged me. I'm going to start getting up a little earlier in the morning to see more sunrises. Right.

KANDIDLY  KRISTIN: All right. Question eight. What's one thing you believe absolutely everyone should experience at least once?

DR. HEATHER BROWNE: deeply loving themselves and others.

KANDIDLY  KRISTIN: Very good answer. All right. Question number nine, spring or fall?

DR. HEATHER BROWNE: Oh, my goodness. These are hard. I'm going to say fall because I lived in New York for one year. Mm-hmm. And it was breathtaking. Mm-hmm. Feeling that crisp, cold wind and the smell of leaves after they've fallen right when it was bright before all the bonfires and all the glorious colors in New Jersey. Yes. Yeah. Oh my gosh, I was on sensory overload. But the smell of East Coast fall is, there's nothing like it.

KANDIDLY  KRISTIN: Oh, it's second to none. maybe second to the Pacific Northwest, maybe.

DR. HEATHER BROWNE: Yeah. Yeah, it's beautiful. There's something unique about the East Coast in fall. Yeah, yeah. The colors are just, and it's the crispness of the wind because they're different, East and West Coast. There's a texture to the, I don't know what to call it, texture to the East Coast wind that's spectacular in fall.

KANDIDLY  KRISTIN: Yeah, I agree, I agree. That's why I'm here. Yeah. All right. Question number 10, again, how can my listeners connect with you and get your book when it comes out in a couple weeks?

DR. HEATHER BROWNE: my website. So I'll say it again, www.dreatherbrowne.com. So just Dr. Heather Browne, everything's on there. It'll be in the show notes. And I'd love to have you reach out or take a look at, if you go to the Work With Me page, it'll list, and there's a freebie page, which has a whole bunch of freebies you can print out, not nearly as long as my book. I love all your paper. But any questions that your listeners have, I'd be honored to answer.

KANDIDLY  KRISTIN: Nice. Thank you so much. Thank you again, Dr. Heather, for coming back and doing this dance with me again. It was then and it is still. You're one of my favorite guests. Your smile is infectious. I don't have my camera on, but she's got hers on, guys, and her smile is just contagious. I'll just say that.

DR. HEATHER BROWNE: Such a beautiful, beautiful woman. You just are. Your energy is just so yummy and warm and inviting. So honored to be with you, truly.

KANDIDLY  KRISTIN: Thank you. Thank you. So guys, if you didn't write it down, and I know you guys didn't, All of Dr. Heather's contact info is going to be in the show notes. I will keep you updated on the book release date as it gets closer to make sure you guys are going to get the book it is. If you're in a relationship, if you give a damn about your relationship, you should get the book. so you can be more connected to your partner. And don't forget to visit my website at www.theandidshop.com (candid with a k) and check out a few episodes, subscribe, share the show, and make sure you're following me on Facebook and IG at The Kandid Shop Podcast, (kandid with a K.)

 And until the next time we meet, I want everybody under the sound of my voice to keep it safe, Keep it healthy and keep it kandid.